$
curl v6.ipinfo.io|grep region
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Beep, boop...
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Oh, no! You're in Pomerania!
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My condolences!
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-------------------
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...Or is it [worthy of condolences]?
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Well... It was, until recently. But let's start at the
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beginning...
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What even is the Pomerania Region?
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Pomerania is vague area of northern Poland. Some 2/3
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of the northern Polish border is aquatic, and the name
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reflects that (Po(st)-Mer = „after the sea”). It's
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officially split into 3 warlordships
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(states/Landen/prefectures/however-you-call-it; And
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yes: they really are called warlordships in Polish. We
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tried to culture-wash for internationals by making the
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official translation sound phonetically like their
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Polish name „województwo” (which also conveniently
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happens to mask the name's brutal origins), so you
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won't see Pomeranian Warlordship in any international
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shipping details, but us Poles will still know (and I,
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as a Pole, decided to let you know, too - totally not
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because I can't spell the official translation and
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would rather type this for 3min than spend 3s looking
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it up). Although, obviously, the warlord (wojewoda) is
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nowadays a democratically-elected office, and
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acquiring this title doesn't involve conquering any
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lands or burning and slaughtering any villages.), but
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this official division is kinda BS. We have the
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Pomeranian Warlordship, the Western Pomeranian
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Warlordship and - for some reason beyond my
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understanding - Kujawy-Pomeranian Warlordship. Kujawy
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Region is a cultural region of central-northern (on
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the north-south axis; just central on the east-west)
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Poland, and it lines up pretty nicely with the
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Kujawy-Pomeranian Warlordship. Which does NOT touch
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the sea in any way. So why isn't that warlordship just
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named after Kujawy Region, and instead they stuck
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Pomerania in there, is beyond me. The whole point of
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the name Pomerania is to describe something next to
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the sea; it's a geographical, not a cultural, term.
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With that, I'd honestly argue that some 60% of
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Pomeranian Warlordship (which, btw, is strictly what I
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mean any time I mention the Pomerania Region (capital
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P, capital R - like in the section title), in this
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article or anywhere else, unless otherwise stated)
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isn't even Pomerania anymore. But it makes sense that
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they named the warlordship after Pomerania (and not,
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say Kaszubia - Kaszuby is the cultural region roughly
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lined up with the Pomerania Region) because most
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cultural and economical activity of the warlordship
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happens in the Tricity Metropolis, which indeed
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touches the sea directly (and the closer to the sea
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you get in Tricity, the more economically active and
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culturally relevant the cities become).
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So... What is the Tricity Metropolis, then?
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Short answer, up until recently? FUCK KNOWS!
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Long answer? Depends on who you ask...
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There are: the Declaration of Tricity, Little Tricity,
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MZKZG, Tristar, Trójmiasto.PL, PKM, SKM, PolRegio
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(area Gdynia), Pomeranian Warlordship, SystemFALA,
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OMGGS, and Mevo. They're all on various levels of
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officiality and legal legitimacy, and they all claim
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to either outright be Tricity, be [something (eg. a
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transit agency)] for/of Tricity, or try to establish
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themselves as the de-facto metropolitan authority of
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Tricity, in absence of a real legally-legitimate
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governing body. Which (that absence), in itself, would
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be fine! I am, generally, a federalist. I acknowledge
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that a central governing authority isn't always
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needed. And while a federation is usually defined as a
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union of regions (countries, counties, anything), a
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federation of organizations (that themselves are
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owned/cooperate with the regions) also works perfectly
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fine. The problem is that - while I acknowledge that a
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central governing authority isn't always needed - this
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requires a lot of discipline, trust, and cooperation.
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Some agreed-upon leading entity (it doesn't have to
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hold any „official” power; all others just have to
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trust it and listen to it - and optionally change it
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out for a new leader (by just... trusting and
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listening to the old one less), if they end up broadly
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discontent), for the sake of efficient coordination,
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issuing new standards, or conflict arbitrage,
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especially in looser federations, is usually good. The
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problem with Tricity, is that all these organizations,
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all with various levels of legal power and legitimacy,
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are VERY MUCH NOT cooperating well. As I said: some of
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them claim to either outright be Tricity, or try to
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establish themselves as the de-facto metropolitan
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authority of Tricity. This isn't cooperation, it's a
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Game of Thrones. And for the other group, those that
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claim to be [something] for/of Tricity, they often end
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up stepping on each other's toes, in terms of their
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competence. Which is how Gdynia and Gdańsk (2 largest
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cities here) ended up with fully incompatible Citizen
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Card systems; how Tricity ended up with two
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incompatible (well, they are TECHNOLOGICALLY
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compatible, in that they both use national rail
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standards, and are both hooked up to the national
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railway network at numerous points, so you COULD send
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an SKM train onto PKM tracks and not explode (it's not
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like some american „metros” that are just trams
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underground, and you absolutely do NOT want a tram on
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a heavy-rail right-of-way, for a multitude of
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reasons), but they're OPERATIONALLY incompatible for
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numerous reasons) metro (one claims to be a metro, but
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fails at it dramatically (piss-poor frequencies, many
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level-crossings, incomplete electrification); another
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swears to not be a metro, but is 93% there and they
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just gotta remove 3 remaining level-crossings and up
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the frequency a tiny bit) systems and changing between
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them is seemingly-deliberately frustrating; why our
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transit tickets are the most expensive in Poland; why
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our urban bikes are not integrated into our transit
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app (like they are in any serious city that has a
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first-party bike network and a first-party transit
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app); why our Transit Signal Priority system works
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well in Gdańsk (unless you're on a Gdynian bus, in
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which case it doesn't work at all), works badly in
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Gdynia (unless you're on a Gdańsk bus, in which case
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it doesn't work at all), doesn't work outside of these
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two cities (even in Sopot that sits between them), and
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for API access, you have 2 different domains, even
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though it was developed as a single system for all of
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Tricity and is still branded as such (Tristar); and
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how all but the 3 core cities (Gdynia, Sopot, Gdańsk;
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that's where the Tri comes from) are in a quantum
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superposition because they're SOMETIMES a part of
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Tricity and sometimes not, depending on who you ask,
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because OH, YEA, I FORGOT TO MENTION! All of these
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quasi-official (except Trójmiasto.PL, they're just a
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private company) organizations, CANNOT EVEN AGREE ON
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TRICITY'S FUCKING BORDERS!, which leads to situations
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like „Kartuzy are hooked into the metro system, but
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they pay intercity train ticket prices for their metro
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rides, and the metro ticket is sold separately from
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their bus rides, because the agency that coordinates
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ticketing among the clusterfuck of a dozen or so
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city-level transit agencies, doesn't recognize Kartuzy
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as part of Tricity, while one of our metro operators
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did.”!!! Yes, that was a single sentence. Yes, it has
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2495 chars (including HTML tags). No, I'm not angry.
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Yes, I was VERY angry up until recently. Yes, I'm a
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transit nerd (yes, I know Adam Something), how did you
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know? No, I don't live in Kartuzy, I live in the core
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cities.
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So saying I'm from the Tricity Metropolis should be
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easy for me, right? I mean... I don't have to worry
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that, if I say „I'm from Tricity”, someone will only
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think of the core cities, and not omit my city. But up
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until recently, I was refusing to do so. I was saying
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I'm from the Pomerania Region. Why? Well, I'd rather
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avoid revealing my city outright to people outside
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Pomerania (I have no problem telling that to locals,
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tho) and/or who I only know online (trying to hold
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onto any last bit of privacy I can). So just say
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„Tricity”, right? Well, as I said, I was refusing to
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do so - because Tricity simply didn't exist. We had a
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loose clusterfuck of quasi-official agencies. The
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real, coherent, Tricity was only in our hearts. And my
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heart was angry at all the mess, so it wasn't letting
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me say Tricity in good conscience. At the same time,
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despite all the flaws, I really do love this
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region-that-will-soon-become-the-real-Tricity (it
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ticks EVERY box that I could desire for a region to
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live in; nothing else in Poland even comes close, and
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internationally there's a precious few places that
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do). So to show my pride at being from here, while at
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the same time protesting Tricity's disarray, I was
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referring to the lowest level that's legally
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recognized - and that's the Pomeranian Warlordship.
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But nobody cares about that second part (it's assumed
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automatically, when you mention a warlordship by
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name), so in Polish I'd say that I'm from Pomerania.
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And in English, because someone may not know what
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Pomerania is, I'd say I'm from the Pomerania Region. I
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now no longer do that.
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What changed?
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I'm pleased to announce that our useless president
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finally signed something for once instead of vetoing
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it (it only took 9 years), and the Tricity
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Metropolitan Area is now a legally-recognized
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association of counties (*the 3 core cities are
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counties on their own) in Pomerania, with a
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properly-defined (but extendable at the mutual
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agreement of Metropolitan Council (which now exists)
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and the county getting expanded into) border (and yes,
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it includes Kartuzy, JUSTICE FOR KARTUZY CAME, YAY!)
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and various unified responsibilities (that would
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normally be a responsibility of each individual
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county), like providing public transit (the single
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operator is scheduled to take over our current transit
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mess next year; My God, finally! I've been waiting my
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whole politically-conscious life for this!) or social
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housing, or managing urban planning and development. I
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will now be proudly announcing that I come from
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Tricity, whenever I get asked about my roots (and
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probably, like... Yap about this law that passed,
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every time I do it).
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